There was a time when I didn’t want to make a living as a writer — a time when the idea was enough and having comments on my blog was all I wrote for.
What changed?
I couldn’t tell you if I tried. This piece you’re reading isn’t one I would normally write if I was stuck in that create or die mode that has brought me more pain and unproductivity than not.
There is joy in creation. There is beauty in making things for the sake of making them. I have felt this.
I used to not care about how good my writing was. I used to have conversations with people who had read my writing and it was never about the style, or format.
It was about feeling.
But how do you make people feel using words if you’re not obsessed with being better at using words?
How do I overcome the dread I have each time I start on a page?
I could begin by giving up on writing the best thing ever and just write. But my brain catches up with me midway into the article and tries to edit while I write — which, as you know, is not a healthy way to write.
Or…